I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I just found puke in my bra..
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
