Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
