is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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