their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
