i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
