YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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