Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
