Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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