just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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