oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
i love accidental penises.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
