Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
