first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
