Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Someone came in the potted fern
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
