Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
