....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
