She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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