Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize