I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
