adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Randomize
