she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
