i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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