She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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