well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
