I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
