First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
