girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
