Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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