i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
