Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Randomize