I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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