break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
