please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
