I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
