even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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