the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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