The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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