ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
