i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
