Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
