how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
