Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
