If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
