can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize