Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
