Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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