He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Btw I puked in your glovebox
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
