Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
