i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Success! We fucked roommates!
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
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