I molested 6 butterflies tonight
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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