i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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