she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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