we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
