My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize
