My sheets look like a crime scene.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
