i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
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