I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
