They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
wow bdsm is so cute
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
