Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
time to smoke my breakfast
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
