i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize