I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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