i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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