i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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