A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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