I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
