I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
