STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize