Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Blood and glitter go together right?
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Randomize
